The last Blog of El Camino. Never imagine it was going be written so late!
Many experiences, happening at the same time, not only enrich life but makes you feel tired too.
Nowadays I am with my family, in our Christmas holiday retreat, located in Hoz de Anero, just few miles close to Santander . Time to enjoy with parents, sisters, uncles, nephews…
Pretty curious ‘the Northern Way’(related to Santiago’s pilgrimage) goes through ‘Villaverde de Pontones’ as well, although it is time to rest of so much walking for the next few years, truly! Before getting started, simply would like to give you greetings and wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2012. Hope God will fulfil every single aspect of you, receiving peace, prosperity and happiness! Yes, I do know, it is too late for it but these last three weeks the only activity done here has been just resting, resting and resting. Definitely my own wish is returning back home quickly to check the left heel, due to a tiny fatigue and torn fibres I had in the righ foot, which meant to spend in Santarem’s hospital just few days. The worst point was not being able of getting recovered soon, as they kicked me out. However, as always happens, I was lucky enough (within few misfortunes -or achievements I would say- to get help and be accepted as I was, thanks mainly, to the Franciscans from the Mercy House. Thanks to them (including the retired old people and the Down’s syndrome), everything became easier to understand, easier to walk.
Well, I cannot deny I have forgotten, practically, most of the walking moments, although the stamped pilgrim credential and my camera pictures should clarify my memory though. It is time to begin.
I reached Santiago on August 19th. It was not a coincidence. Nine months before my middle sister told me good news: I was going to be uncle again! The pilgrimage from Saint Jean Pied Port until the Apostle’s tomb had the purpose of giving her a great reception, apart from be thankful of all the good things received in Britain , most of them very fulfilling. I do still remember when my sister and brother-in-law came to York with Miguel recently born…buff, life goes through so fast! Even these last five months are now gone. Like the Castilian medieval poet Jorge Manrique wrote long time ago: “Our lives are rivers that go to the sea, the real death. There goes the cultural background to be finished, to be extinguished”. My Santiago’s own way purpose was mainly this, to remind me constantly that my beloved ones are not always there for me, so there is no other ‘way’ but keep fighting what you want, that…“impossible always worth just little more attitude”; words I do use commonly thanks to my philosopher/friend Juan Pablo Viola. Great inspiration they were from Santarem to Lisbon , where the physical conditions did not help the pilgrimage to carry on; with foot plaster, pneumonia and rainy forecast, my situation seemed without control. I am still not able to forget it: from October 24th until November 19th heavy rainfalls became unusual. The North sea and its wet feeling seemed determined to chase me, step by step, not exactly like a proper verse in a poem. Anyway, time to sum up, to remember how these months were like. The pictures themselves are like mirrors where your balance can be shown : every experience lived, every suffering (as everything in life, there was a purpose behind it…in my case own sacrifice for such and such person, affection, love, pain or closeness were strong reasons to move on through this heroic deed…if it can be named like this!). Every moment I had, I was not a ‘walker’, because there was something/one else instead. I would say spiritual. And this is not possible to keep hidden in my heart, as there are things in need to be shared. The feeling of keeping yourself quiet, but something screaming you inside, made me to write the words you are reading now.
I’m sure this experience will help many friends to give not only encouragement but to be more curious about the walk, the pilgrimage, and to make Santiago known, due to its relation with the European history; the seed of our present European Union. Sure you will there are many benefits through every stage: you know better yourself with your weakness and strengths, trying to find answers to your questions. The magic enclosed is so hard to explain, that there are not enough words of gratefulness to explain every moment enjoyed in El Camino. The happiness was so big, that there was even no need of money. This was the original purpose, taking away those things who makes your life impoverish, although it was not possible to make it until Porto . Mainly, I could not take away easily that fear ‘of not having anything’. But love and trust were enough to continue walking.
Let’s trace then how the pilgrimage went after reaching Santiago : it was normal to wake up around eight o’clock in the morning; between breakfast (If there was chance!) and walking, I used to begin my path around ten o’clock, to finish in the brigade around seven (not always possible so charity houses or abandon places made the trick mainly). But getting accommodation there was not always a possible choice.
Between dinner, pot cleaning and sleep time, the watch used to show the eleven hours exactly. Every single day was like this (sincerely mostly of them) since the last pilgrim hostel close to Vila do Conde (don’t remind its name), in Porto . Since then, everything became ‘blood, sweat and tears’, carried with the best possible faith and sacrifice, in part thanks to the Virgin Mary of Guadalupe, our blessed Lady. There were bad moments, especially when the lack of money made my life a nightmare. Two days without food to eat, became a miracle I did not faint in Ansiao. And the people seemed they did not care, like statues, because were not able to understand the purpose of a pilgrimage. I do understand them anyway because I used to be like them. If I wouldn’t have had the help of the brigade, and a couple who invited me for dinner (they saw me begging outside the market!), probably I had quit without any doubt. Imagine you never have had such a problem in your life, because you lived pretty secure, without scares around you. If you wanted something, simply you went for it. And now, without this security, you feel much more vulnerable, much outside the society, if this expression is right. Thinking and feeling this every time, made me clear this was a temporary situation, ‘like a bad sleep in a worst hostel’. However, ‘us’ as human beings, we do need to do something for those who suffer the same situation I did have (very proud of it!), we need to relief their pains somehow. Unfortunately, today if you are not a productive person, then the society relies you to a second role, where the person in trouble suffers punishment from the “social order”(?) established many centuries ago. So instead of helping, ‘not seeing’ or ‘avoiding’ becomes normal for those ‘runners away’, whose life avoids confronting injustice, mainly because they never have had this situation in their lives. And the lack of interest was a terrible tool I did perceive through the whole pilgrimage. Many of those ‘normal people’ seemed human, but they did not have enough heart due to lack of time, even during weekends. Many people were alone in their own misfortune, and nobody did care about them
The first time as beggar was harder than expected. Underestimating yourself lied ahead, so hiding was not an option. My opportunity came in Negreira, close to Santiago . Being seized by doubts like ‘what are they gonna say about me’ or ‘with all you’ve done until now’ constantly bombarded my mind. But was time to be brave, as there was a cause to fight for. However the faith on my Lady did the rest. Without her, I am nothing. Since then I saw very clear that Santiago represented my own life, fulfilled with ups and downs…so it was time to do a real way to approach to the end, to Faro! I wanted to grow more as a person. But well, it is such a long story that it is better to judge the pictures yourself. Be the judge, if that is what you want, of a pilgrim whose main duty was not only to enrich his own life but maybe yours as well. Only with own impressions and reminds, I hope the trick will work on you.
Let’s going to share few anecdotes: From my nephew’s baptism in Toledo (taking a direct coach line Porto- Madrid- Porto) on October, to interact with few philosopher/hippies about their lifestyle (according to them I was the wrong one…truly, I don’t know!), to listen death threaten by beggars in the market (e.g. two in Pontevedra), to sleep in places attended by human aids workers or unattended at all; living those conditions were very interesting. In addition, after walking so long, the daily deal with muscular pain, not knowing where to sleep, and even to find a place, the heaviness of the floor was miraculous. A necessary stone to relief the daily muscular contractions!
On the other hand, the comprehension of many people I met in El Camino made also possible to enjoy the comfort of a house, to remember again who I was, to remember my duty as a pilgrim. Therefore I give thanks to the Lord, not only because there were many good moments but to see life in a complete different perspective. Once you are at home, everything is more pleasant as all the October-November-December tension is finally gone…what does not kill you makes you stronger!
Anyway, what it is more important is return back to the action field in January once my health will be recovered. Thanks to God, Christmas is the perfect time to eat a lot; whereas people are worried about getting fit, this is not going to be a personal problem really. My present priorities are repaying University foreign and national fees. My future ones will be to set up my studies/work in South America or Asia , in two or three year’s time. Let’s see how the future prospects will be, although I am completely sure ‘something or someone’ called supernatural force will help me (as it is doing until today) to achieve this new purpose, new ‘Camino’. However it takes, gratefulness will always be present in my mind for all the good things received from God till today.
Thank you for time. God bless you!
Merry Christmas again and Happy New Year 2012!
Sincerely,
Miguel